A post on…Thursday?

Shock! Horror!

That’s right, after weeks of intent but no end product, here I am categorically not talking about Doctor Who. Yes, even the big behind-the-scenes news. I’ll save that for another time.

So what’s been interesting in the world of all things un-Doctorly over the last couple of weeks?

Well, the US Presidential battle quite definitely isn’t. Goodness me, it’s still not over! I’d never realised previously just how insane the US electoral system is, but I sure as hell see it now. If there are any Americans reading this, please tell me you’re bored of it too, or I shall be forced to abandon all hope for your kind.

The quality and quantity of bizarre news has been dropping recently, as well. The most interesting thing I’ve come across on that front is a chain email I received highlighting a “study” done in which two mobile phones are placed either side of an egg and call each other. After 65 minutes the egg was cooked. I’m sure that isn’t recent, though. If any readers can prove to me that there’s a really good slice of weird news this week, I want to hear that too.

I suppose I should touch on Eurovision, as well, though I’ll do a full entry on that topic after the show proper on Saturday. For the first time ever, though, there are not one but two semifinals, the first of which was on Tuesday night and the second is tonight, and though I was initially reluctant to watch any more than the final, I did end up sitting through the majority of Tuesday’s showing, which, for better or worse, allowed me to get my first look at the notorious Irish entry.

It’s difficult to convey quite how mad Dustin the Turkey’s act was merely with words. If you haven’t seen it, http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z28STzFIFBU <- there’s a video. I have no idea why it seemed to be received with boos the other night – I would have expected shocked silence – and though I’m glad this means that the UK now cannot lose to a puppet, I think I’m sorry to see it not make the final.

Well, it’s not as much as I normally squeeze out, but this should at least be a healthy kick up the backside to spark some more frequent updating around here. There’s a new sheriff in town. (or something like that.)

TV: America knows best

Truth be told, I’m not the world’s biggest fan of the United States of America. Invasions of Middle-Eastern countries aside, they butchered the English language and maintain a general lack of awareness of the world they (mostly) control. (Incidentally, I don’t wish to stereotype all Americans in this bracket, there are a good deal of very aware and intelligent people over there – that’s the law of averages for you.) I tend to resent somewhat its influence.

However, it’s difficult not to develop a grudging respect for the total superiority of American television over that of the British. I think I would have a very hard time dealing with the (rather wide) shadow of the stars and stripes that encompasses the globe if it were not for the saving graces of (to name but a few) Lost, 24, House, Battlestar Galactica and so on and so on.

There just seems to be something about the American mentality that lends itself to making amazing TV. There may be a link between the fact that Americans tend to be more outgoing and less guarded than the stereotypical Englishman and the far more edgy nature of American TV. People take risks with ideas and hence we see shows like 24, which created an entirely new format for how a TV show could exist – the real-time hour-per-episode length that we take for granted with the show now that it’s had six seasons. I can’t see anyone in Britain having ever made a programme like that.

Of course, after things become great successes in the US, then the British market start making bad copies of it – witness Spooks, which can try all it want but it’s always going to be an inferior 24 without the time gimmick. On the other end of the genre scale, the frankly pathetic Mistresses that recently failed to set BBC One viewers alight is a painfully crap rehash of the superb Desperate Housewives. (Yes, I’m male, I watch Desperate Housewives. You try it, then try and laugh.)

Occasionally, American TV gets so good that it passes its own viewers by. Joss Whedon’s magnificent space western Firefly suffered this fate – it was critically acclaimed, rightly so, as one of the very best television series of recent years, but just couldn’t get the viewers to survive. As I mentioned not long ago, Jericho found itself in a similar situation (though I’m not about to claim that Jericho is anywhere near as awesome as Firefly).

The only thing that Britain has to pride itself upon is Doctor Who, which continues to fly the flag for family entertainment. The fourth season starts up again on Saturday 5th April and despite the thoroughly disappointing return of Catherine Tate as the new companion, it’s going to be a cracker. Torchwood’s second season has done much to make up for the horrendous first effort, but it needs to be this good consistently to earn its place next to its parent show as genuinely great British TV. Life on Mars was the only other really excellent production we’ve had recently, and even that is having its reputation eroded away somewhat by the lacklustre Ashes to Ashes spin-off.

This is a great time of year for the British viewer, but it’s barely anything to do with our own TV. Running alongside Doctor Who (and, frankly, probably outshining it) will be the fourth seasons of Lost, House, Battlestar Galactica and Desperate Housewives. Fantastically, all of the above are on different days of the week, so almost every day there is going to be some compelling telly to watch. And it’s all thanks to our friends across the Atlantic. God Bless America!

Only in America: Two Years on a Toilet

I’m surprised I didn’t notice this story earlier, but it’s still as incredible. An American woman, Pam Babcock, has only just gotten off her boyfriend’s toilet after having been sitting there for two years.

It took him that long to stop just bringing her food and water every day and asking nicely if she’d like to come out before he finally called the police. I mean, what’s that about? I am finding it very difficult to put into words just how flabbergasted I am at this.

By the time somebody was called in to get her out her skin had grown around the bowl so that she was physically stuck to the thing. According to sheriff Bryan Whipple, she was “somewhat disoriented” and her legs had atrophied. Unsurprisingly, really, all things considered.

I don’t really know how I should react to this story. It’s possibly the maddest thing I’ve seen all year. Both the toilet enthusiast and her slow-to-react boyfriend must have something a little bit wrong with their brains – I’m guessing the latter is IQ-related but the former is surely something deeper and so I’m going easy on the mocking. However, I do have to say:

Only in America.