Tales from Wookiepedia

Okay, so so much for ’see you tomorrow’, but I’m still here. Truth be told, I found it very difficult to post for a few days because I’ve been ridiculously tired. “Why?”, I hear you ask (or not). Well, that would be because I recently indulged in an all-six-movies overnight Star Wars marathon (there was a chance more recently to catch up with sleep during the England-France game on Wednesday night, but enough about sport. There’ll be a whole other blog for that in the summer).

And you know what? Star Wars is still the incredible awesome saga it ever was. It was nice to go back and watch the prequel trilogy again, something I haven’t done for a while, and I think I can just about say they’re not as crap as I used to think they were. Well, Episode I isn’t anyway. Episode II, however, is still an ugly blemish on the face of the series. It didn’t help that it was very hard for me to take Anakin seriously when he’s a dead ringer for my cousin – who is, just to enhance the bizarreness of the thing, of Jamaican descent. Go figure.

So while I was busy not being able to open my eyes for a long enough period to write on this blog, I spent the days afterward trolling the internet as I often do, and in my haze of semi-consciousness I arrived at the Star Wars version of Wikipedia. Yes, it’s “Wookiepedia” – possibly the best name for any website of any kind ever. Way back when (about five years ago), I used to read a fair few published Star Wars books, and for the most part enjoyed them immensely, but I had no idea of the extent of this ‘Expanded Universe’ that has been built by tie-in books, games, comics and graphic novels. It’s absolutely massive. Seriously, seriously huge. And a (rather large) group of dedicated fans have put it all into the Wookiepedia resource. Thanks to them, I’ve read with unashamedly childlike fun all kinds of things about the universe I either used to or never knew before. Over the years, the various novel series have built up a pretty solid forty-year story following on from Return of the Jedi, and it’s detailed with such love for the franchise that I was compelled to dig up some of the old X-Wing books I used to own and over the last couple of days I’ve realised to my pleasure that I wasn’t old enough to really appreciate them when I first read them. I’m now thoroughly enjoying working my way through as much of the series as I own, which is far more reading than I’ve done for an awful long time. So thank you, Wookiepedia. The Force is strong in you.

Re: Hugh Laurie, and a confession

If you’re expecting another wall of text like yesterday’s blog, then today you’re sorely mistaken, as I am attempting to fit this entry around selected snippets of the BBC’s Sport Relief marathon and catching up with House – I have 13 episodes of season three to watch before season 4 starts broadcasting on five on Thursday. Speaking of House, I should mention that I did at last get my hands on the Radio Times featuring the Hugh Laurie interview that I wrote about a few days ago. What surprised me was how downbeat he seemed on the future of the show, but surely as a show that was popular enough to survive the writers’ strike, it can theoretically go on for quite a while longer. I hope so, anyway.

But speaking of Sport Relief, there’s something I have to get off my chest. The only part of the evening’s programming that I have indulged in so far was hosted by a man whom it appears cool to actively dislike. I’ve never once read a good review of him, anywhere. But I’m sorry. Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but dammit, I like Jimmy Carr!

I’m not going to write heaps about him – I mean, he’s funny, but he’s no Bill Bailey – but I just feel he gets a bit of a raw deal. So sue me, establishment.

Just to finish off (mainly to avoid making this post look tiny when compared to yesterday’s Eurovision marathon), here’s a joke I came across a week or so ago on the internet.

Luke Skywalker decides to take some time out from the stress of being a Jedi to take up a career in art education. He chooses to start by writing an informative pamphlet for kids about the many different shades of the colour purple. After writing the first draft, he feels it’s lacking something and goes to ask his friend Han Solo for feedback.

“Hey, Han,” says Luke, boarding the Millennium Falcon, “can you take a look at this pamphlet? I just feel it’s not quite right – any ideas?”

“I dunno, kid,” says Han, “have ya spelt ‘mauve’ right?”

“Yeah,” says Luke, “I spell-checked it twice.”

“Ah, probably right. I never was too great at spelling. Hey, maybe you should go ask Darth Vader.”

Luke agrees and pops over to the Death Star to talk to Vader.

“Hey dad,” he says, “I’ve been writing this pamphlet on the colour purple but I just feel it’s missing something. Can you help me?”

“Hurrr-haaaa, hurrr-haaaa,” breathes Vader, “Son, are you sure you have enough detail in your entry for ‘violet’?”

“Yes,” says Luke glumly, “I had an expert fill in that section, he seemed happy that it was detailed enough. Anything else?”

“No,” says Vader, “the force is strong in this pamphlet.”

Still not convinced, though, Luke flies to Dagobah to ask Yoda his opinion. The wise Jedi Master takes a look at the pamphlet and turns to Luke.

“Your problem, understand it I do.”

“You do?” asks Luke excitedly, “what is it then? What’s wrong with my instructional pamphlet on purple?”

Yoda points a finger at the offending section and says, “hard to see, the fuschia is.”

The wonders of the internet, eh?